Jacob Woods

Jacob Woods
Jacob is gay. He eats, breathes, and sleeps lgbtqia issues. He is a sociology major currrently working to educate the simpletons. He attends college in the Twin Cities.

Sunday, December 18

Merry Santa Clause

Merry Santa Clause is brought to you by the slavery efforts of Jacob Woods. I will be heading up to the north woods soon and wanted to give you a bit to read before I take a long needed hiatus to read, gather my thoughts, and write books, (yah hmm, hows that novel been coming, Family Guy Reference!)

Good as Gay Achievements: Seizing Opportunities

Good as Gay Best Friends Award 

The Best of TheJacobWoods - Twitter 2011

Top 10 blog posts Good as Gay 2011 Reflection

Last Year's New Year's Resolution

Saturday, December 17

Last Years New Year's Resolution

I always like to go back and reflect on my resolutions to see what I have accomplished. I will just bold and highlight the things I completed, kinda completed, and failed at!

The meme of this "New Years Resolution" thing seems to be, oh, you can start your New Years any time of the year. It doesn't have to be today. I am super special because I think so originally. Well fuck you, tonight, I systematically conform to tradition. And perhaps another year I will say like magic and rainbows you can change your life any day.
There are two types of goals you can set for New Years. Those two are personal ones and social ones. Which are technically still personal ones. New Years resolutions tend to be idiosyncratic selfishness that really have no abidance a month after setting them. But in order to make at least one of my goals come true I am going to make a bunch of goals that are really broad. That way if something sort of lines up with what I set up I can say I achieved my goal.
FAILED Personal goal number 1. Keep clean. My room is a disaster. My face is a disaster. I haven't brushed my teeth in a week. Gross right? Not lying. Don't judge me. Dude I want to brush my teeth obsessively right now. I have terrible cleaning skills. And I hate style. So now I am going to clean myself up. I am going to make an effort to clean up after myself more often. It should lead to a more organized and effective life.

FAILED Personal goal number 2. Be amazing on YouTube. I am so excited for YouTube. YouTube is where dreams come true right? I really don't know what to expect from YouTube. But I hope things go well there. So I am going to be amazing on YouTube this coming year.
KINDA Personal goal number 3. Become better at grammar. Read on how to write in proper and perfect English. Become aware of all the mistakes I make in social networking and fix every error I find. Look at other people's errors and scoff when they make a mistake because that way I can not make grammar errors when I write. Learn to edit my writing more effectively.
Accomplished! Personal goal number 4. Tell my grandmother I am gay. I don't really know why I feel I have to tell her. I feel like it would make a good YouTube video or a good blog. I can almost see how this will go.
FAILED Personal goal number 5. Get one pastor to give a sermon on the topic of homosexuality.

FAILED Personal goal number 6. Get one crappy and nasty conservative and bigoted website shut down. Perhaps two. www.christwire.org. Look at the tweets. They have me in them. It is pretty funny what the tweet guy said to me there. Go spam their website. Even if my website gets shut down because I hate their website it will be worth it.
KINDA Personal goal number 7. Send Tony Perkins and John McCain daily smiley faces on Twitter. Start a national campaign for the gay online community to send them smiley faces once a day. Get people pissed off. Laugh scornfully in the bathroom when Tweeting upon my cell phone at tony Perkins fuming tweets. HE HE HE!!!
KINDA Personal goal number 8. Spend more time outside. I am tired of being inside. I don't think I will be around to much this summer online. I am tired of the Internet. I want to be outside more. But it is cold right now. I live in a frozen winter wonderland of conservative disgruntle in rural Minnesota. I deserve to be outside.
FAILED Personal goal number 9. Stop eating an entire pizza in one sitting. Never again eat a full package of Oreos. Never again spend my money on vending when you should of spent it on laundry. Learn what vegetables are. Learn how to eat vegetables.
Accomplished Personal goal number 10. Be interviewed by someone. Famous or non famous I don't care. I just want to see how badly I can mess up an interview. If it is in front of a million viewers than I suppose I will embarrass myself. I would like to be interviewed about old man shirts and why I wear them.
FAILED Social goal number 1. Make a bunch of money writing and donate 1,000 bucks to a good charity once a month.
KINDA Social goal number 2. Make ten thousand new friends via social media. Ok 1,000 would be nice. And even better 10 good friends who I can talk to is better than a million friends who say OMG I luv yo wrk!!!!

FAILED Social goal number 3. Become modest.
KINDA Social goal number 4. Give a person a compliment everyday. And don't make it a lie.
KINDA Social goal number 5. Call someone every Sunday and say I love them.
FAILED Social goal number 6. Start hanging out with my boyfriend extensively.
KINDA Social goal number 7. Eat pancakes because they make me happy which therefore makes other people who have to deal with me happier.
Accomplished Social goal number 8. Get to know my professors better. Stop in and say hi and talk about their areas of interest.
Accomplished Social goal number 9. Make use of my counselors when life gives me lemons. The world is better with lemonade.
KINDA  Social goal number 10. Help one person change their mind towards the better in regards to homosexuality by publishing my book Good as Gay: A Personal Memoir of A Gay Rural Boy. Or something equally amazing.
Share! LAugh Grow.

Good as Gay Achievements: Seizing Opportunities

Through the process of listing some of the achievements made over the last year I would also like to point out the multitude of opportunities I have taken advantage of that I would only encourage my readers to also take advantage of. These things are all very possible for you as well if you seek out and take advantage of the opportunities. Otherwise, happy reading.

PFund – I received $3,000 dollars from the PFund foundation which works to reward hard working activists in rural Minnesota. Though, there are a number of rewards available through applying. It isn’t necessary that you are lgbt to win, nor is it necessary to live in rural Minnesota to receive the scholarship. Though, you do have to be a Minnesota citizen. I would apply! I am going to try for it again this year!

Helium Channel Manager – Many of you may not know this, but I actually write articles for a site called Helium. I applied for an application for the Gay and Lesbian Issues Channel Manager and got accepted. There are still positions available in the LGBT relationship categories that can be applied to. Knowing the mentality of my readers, you could do very well on Helium and I would love to work with you on some articles in the gay and lesbian issues section. Happy writing! Helium Application - If you have questions just e mail me at

Spoken Word Open Mic – I am very proud to say that I am out of my shell and sharing some of my more creative works in public. I have attended all but one of the open mics held on campus and have performed at the open mic portions at nearly all of them. The people here, for the most part, enjoy my content and continually invite me to perform. It’s been a blast. I would encourage anyone to take advantage of open mic opportunities. Writers can benefit loads from participating in that it is a way to build an audience and readership following! Minnesota Microphone

Catalyst Trip – I was accepted into a catalyst trip. I might end up going to either Chicago or San Fransisco depending on availability. The San Francisco trip is going to dive into lgbtqia issues where as the Chicago trip focuses on using art for forms of activism. Either one sounds fantastic and I will be happy with either one! I will be raising more money for this trip soon!

Reaching Out – I have been so fortunate to get a broader readership over the last couple of months. I have been interviewed for A Little Bit of Liberal (Growing Up Gay in Northern Minnesota) MinnPost Blog Cabin - has featured a number of my blogs making my work avaliable to the Minnesota audience. I have started writing for Gay Fresno again and plan on continuing submitting to help me build a more national readership for the blog. Anyone looking to build a career as a writer should be looking into opportunities to get more readers interested in your work. These are just a few examples! If you are looking for advice - is my e mail! I like e mails!

There is many a things to do. I must get a doing! And I have enjoyed every bit of it minus a few skurmishes. Did I mention I edited a book? Caleo book Review

Good as Gay Best Friends Award

In the last year, I have made so many new friends and some in which I now include as my extended family. I don’t know where to start and I want to include everyone. I chose the twelve that come to mind when I think of really good friends. I feel that if I missed out on you, there is the great opportunity to e mail me at [email protected] telling me I missed you and I will dedicate an entire post to just you and you will feel a mile high. Though, others may think differently. So here we go.

Ashley - Ashley has this idiosyncratic chipernish and such a delightful candor that I can't go without talking with her for more than a week or so. We had countless advenutres in the back forest exploring our characters, our lives, and the mobility of our bodies trudging through leaves, mud, snow, and most arduous of all, that thing called life.

A thanks to Andy – Andy has been like an periodic extended brother to me always telling me to correct my grammar and telling me to use proper punctuation and spelling. Though, the relationship goes deeper, Andy has worked very hard in Northern Minnesota for equality on many political and activist related projects. When he got wind I was interested in the process, he started talking to me and even invited me out to dinner. When I was starving at the apartments last year, Andy would come by and we would go out to Country Kitchen or the Mexican Restaurant and have a bite to eat on his dollar. We would discuss activism and OUTlook among other things, and it was great. So thanks Andy for being such a great friend. You win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

A thanks to Kathleen – Kathleen was an activist at the start of the Stonewall Riots! She has marched, taught, written, and organized for many a decades. I always looked up to her as my advisor and can always count on her to give me fair and honest feedback. I came to her over the summer with some personal problems and she responded with sensitive and tactful words that encouraged me to seek counseling this year. That and she helped me score a PFund Scholarship as well as bought me a few meals too. I don’t know where I would be without you! You win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

OUTlook – I miss all of you who were in OUTlook! For fear of missing a name or two, I will just leave it at that! Thanks for always being there through phone calls, e mails, in person, and etc. I had a blast with all of you and am always here to encourage the work you do. Even if you are no longer called OUTlook, I will still refer to the group as such! It takes courage to be active in such a shaky community, but your waves are making worlds of differences on the Iron Range. Again, keep up the great work! You all win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

Jana – Oh golly gosh! Jana and I became friends at the start of the year. She had me at the Bouba Kiki effect. I mean, if you know what the Bouba Kiki effect is, you have to be gay friendly. I have come to face a lot of realizations in the past few months about coming to age and understanding myself from a new perspective. In that tumultuous process I have had waves of tears shared with her. And I am so happy for her and her new BF. Keep worshipping the flying spaghetti monster. I will marry in the pastafarian church and we will potluck over some delicious noodly appendages!

Courtney – How frightening, I nearly forgot about my dilly bar! We were both born and raised in Chisholm Minnesota and we have both been avid activists in the fight for lgbt equality. She was the first person I genuinely came out to. Perhaps I tried to come out before, but everyone else told me it was a phase and that I couldn’t be gay. Courtney told me about her gay bird pets and said that she loved me for who I was. We bump into each other every year at the Minnesota Out College Conference and periodically in between. Keep up the activism! And thanks for all of your hard work and help! You win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

Hamline Friend Circle – Ugh, there are so many of you! Dianna, Alex, Ben, Misia, Riah, etc! I love all of you. And many of you are involved in various group organizations that advocate for lgbt rights. Especially all you MPIRG members! Thanks for your incredible amounts of spirit rainbows and thanks for being another voice for “people like me”. As I am, those people! You all win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

Tommy – OMG Jacob, stop talking about Tommy! Basically, I have been awkwardly and creepishly open about my crush on Tommy. Everyone on campus pretty much knows that I like him. But, the reason he gets this fantastic award is because he is ridiculously kind. He let’s me ruffle his hair, and he gives me hugs, and says nice things. Periodically, he even reads this wonderful blog. When I told him I had a straight crush on him, he told me that was entirely cool! And from there we have built an academic relationship where we swap reading and writing and have discussions about Chomsky, anarchism, communism, psycho-analysis, gender roles, post-modernism, new media, existentialism, and etc. So yah - You win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

TJ – How do I go about doing this properly without causing trouble! If you know me, and you know the story, fantastic, TJ – you know why you are getting this award. I just need to be completely careful about your safety! This world is so frightening that I don’t dare say too much. - You win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

Spectrum/Spoken Word – I have been involved with activities between the gay straight alliance here as well as the spoken word events. I have met countless amazing individuals and I wish that I had the time to get to know all of you very well. I love all the work I get to hear at both open mic and the workshops Spectrum puts on! Thank you to everyone in both Spectrum and Spoken Word! - You all win a Good as Gay Best Friend Award!

Max - Max has worked his ass off trying to put together a fundamentally life altering project called Speak Upp. Unfortunately, the dirty bureaucracy of the University of North Dakota, retracted an agreement to purchase recording equipment for the project. I have gotten to get to know Max pretty well over the last few months and he is proud, energetic, and determined to get this project running. Speak Upp is a podcast that aims to reach out to the lgbt community to connect on a personal and life changing level! It's unfortunate that the University of North Dakota would back out on such an incredible man, and incredible project.

If I missed you and you think that I would have put you up here had I taken a bit longer to think about it, do tell me. You don't have to feel self centered at all!

The Best of TheJacobWoods - Twitter 2011

Well, apparently I tweet a lot and I was only able to go back into the start of October through my Twitter archives. Here's what I got!

That awkward moment when you try to drink from your cup to take the embarrassing attention away from yourself and there’s nothing to drink.

Never be embarrassed to have a straight crush.

Jana and I are getting fucking serious about eating some cheesecake.

I am telling you, stinky feet smell like real stale Cheeotos/Doritos Chex Mix.

Smelling like rum and vegetarian pizza. That part of the day where you have to do college things. Gosh I want some. Some steak. I swear cake.

If the fetus you just saved from abortion turned out to be gay, would you still fight for its rights?

Happy accidents are always a pleasure with a side of serendipity.

Too often we focus on the negative impact of media, sociologists should study when media gets it right and explore why it is right.

You will not minimalist my syntax, my diction is my own. – Jana


Top 10 blog posts Good as Gay 2011 Reflection

My brother got hit on by a gay guy!

This had to be by far one of the biggest highlights of the year. There is nothing more humorous than when a strictly defined heterosexual Marine mentality male gets hit on by a gay guy. I hope that people can begin not to become so uncomfortable when they get hit on by the same sex, granted, there’s a fine line between getting hit on, and perhaps being purposely made uncomfortable to the point of harassment. But in most cases, being hit on is nothing but a harmless compliment.

Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus
For some strange reason, I deleted the blog post about attending the GMC over the summer for the annual fundraiser. But, here is the blog post that got me in for free! Thanks for the invitation, it was a blast and I am so glad I got to meet the well respected, and Minnesota LGBT celebrity director Stan Hill. We had a short discussion and he bought us beads for the heads up game! Long story I will never forget! Thanks!

Lobby Day Experience

I never thought myself as a political activist. But apparently, there is an underlying fervor that needed to be ignited. I took up the opportunity to attend lobby day and talk directly to the legislators and representatives who are responsible for how the state’s people run their lives.

Should men wear flip flops?

I don’t know why, but a lot of people love this post! There are a lot of straight men who where flip flops these days, and obviously, I don’t give a shit if anyone does because it shouldn’t mean anything!

I knew little about my gay cousin.

My cousin was marginalized in the family due to his sexual orientation. With my own sexual orientation, I wish I would have gotten to know more about him growing up. But, not as an adult, I am making efforts to get to know more about him by getting in contact and talking to my hippie aunt about him and his fascinating life story. To me, my cousin’s life highlights the results of such strictly defined gender roles and laws. Plus, he was an avid activist like me for quite some time before moving to California!

Minnesota United for All Families

I have gotten to meet the amazing individuals who are working what would seem to be around the clock for LGBT equality. Ever since the state of Minnesota voted to have the people vote on the definition of marriage, OUTfront worked to launch a side grassroots movement to fight this amendment. From there, MPIRG joined in as well which means that Minnesota activists have successfully reached out to multiple organizations to fight for marriage equality. We are going to defeat this amendment. I am convinced of it! Plus, I have to see if I can accurately make political predictions so I can come back to them and brag about it.

Occupy Wall Street

I have been fairly involved in lgbt activism for two years, and in my curiosity, I went up north to Duluth and Occupied Duluth in solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street movement. I learned so much and have much more to learn. Though, because of the cold and legal ramifications, Occupy Duluth has shut down. But, they are still organized and educating the community about new directions the city, state, and the country should be heading.

My Nephew's Second Birthday

My nephew is the blood that beats love in my life. He is the lighthouse on the stormy seas. Sometimes, when the waters become dark and gloomy, I think of how badly I need to be there for him and for his life and all my troubles go away. I feel obligated to teach him things and buy him educational books and be there for someone to communicate with! Naturally, I just love to blog about him! Love you Logan!

How to Handle Your Straight Crush

I came onto campus thinking that everyone was a potential date. That was a big mistake. I also had tons of assumptions based on my naïve and narrow minded experiences coming of the Iron Range. I fell in love with a straight guy thoroughly and falsely convinced he was gay. I told him about my feelings for him, and instead of killing me, he said, that’s cool Jacob. He is the sweetest guy I have ever met. And we both have intelleal sessions of mutual mental masturbation sessions together. No mayonnaise allowed!

Grandmas Original Letter Her Response to Me Coming Out

Most recently, I came out to my Grandmother. Here is the letter she sent me. I was thoroughly heartbroken because I just want to be able to share my life with my grandmother because I spent many summers with her while my mother was going to college. We had a tight bond, and to have that tight bond be broken by the ignorance surrounding sexual orientation is emotionally devastating. As much as I understand her perspective and her small world view, and even though I saw this coming from months away, it still hurts and is painful. And I truly just want to warn others of the damage religious intolerance and Bible bashing can cause.

Friday, December 16

Dear Grandma - The People I've Met Love Me

DOPA - The Defense of Pie Act

You are a proponent of DOPA right? So that means that the Defense of Pie Act that only people of the opposite sex can eat pie together. So if people are the same sex it would be illegal for them to eat pie together. Is that correct? Can people of the same sex eat pie together under the DOPA act?

Can people of the same sex eat pie together? No that’s the purpose of the Defense of Pie Act.

What is the reason why these people should not eat pie together. I think you’ve said before that it destroys the baking of pie. And what I would like to get at is, how does it affect your personal eating pie together if gay couples eat pie together?

Because you change the definition of eating pie. Eating pie is a concept like a pen. We can say this is not a pen and that’ it’s a shoe. Well no it’s not a shoe - a pen has certain qualities to it and certain characteristics to it that make it what it is. And the qualities and characteristics that make eating pie together what it is are the natural unity between eating pies as God created them for the purpose of forming a bond as God created and as reason dictates. As nature explicitly dictates, not dictates but, evidences that male and female of all species come together for the purposes of baking pies and in the case of men and women for eating those baked pies in the best possible way. When you try to redefine you destroy that entity and you make it less by including things that aren’t which result in, which I think is pretty logical and reasonable, in less people eating pie together and pie having less significance in society.

Less people would eat pie? I thought more people would eat pie because the gay couples could eat pie together but they can’t.

Yes well, heterosexuals don’t eat pie because it becomes a devalued baking process where it has no significance and no meaning for society. Most laws reflect value and meaning; and in the case of eating pie, they do.

If the lesbians are permitted to eat pie together then you think that other people would not want to eat pie together?

In places where same sex eating pie together is allowed, it’s a reasonable assumption to make. And in fact has been proven out that where eating pie laws have been changed the out of pie lock and baking rates go dramatically up and people either don’t eat pie together or delay pie eating together and the baking process of pie becomes less valued and therefore you get less of it.

Thank you Dianna, Alex, and Ben for the best idea of the year! This is just hilarious!

Round Table Discussion - My Hippie Iron Ranger Aunt

Don't you love long catchy titles. I hope auntie Lu Lu doesn't kill me for borrowing her picture. (I swear I won't use your name because you might get paranoid someone will stalk you and such.)

I don't know how I can get away with talking about my brothers, nephew, cousins, and the rest of the family without once mentioning my hippie aunt Lu Lu. I go around talking about her and people she doesn't even know say that they love her because she sounds awesome. Well, that is because she is awesome. And she comments, likes, and discusses nearly every blog post, article, and poem I ever write. (She's my biggest fan! Actually, I am hers to be honest!)

I know, family member who supports young aspiring writers work. It sounds so classy cheese curds with prunes on the side but really, family support in writing is hard to come by. Especially when you run the risk of talking about them where they have the opportunity to read about it! You never can be sure of what they might say in response.

But anyhow, this past summer I was fortunate enough to bond closely with my aunt while I was babysitting my nephew Lo Lo. AKA Logan. And we would sit down at the round table in my aunt's dining room and drink tea, eat magical cake, and fervor about intellectual topics. If not raging about GOP politicians, we would secretly discuss and chortle about family dynamics while simultaneously mocking them. (We're all guilty aren't we?)

My aunt has a gay son and this is partly why we are able to bond so well. Because she understands me in ways that others in my family don't. Each person in a family has a special bond. But let's just say I favoritize. Plus, we get to listen to the Beatles, and other hipster music from my aunts youthful years where she hitch hiked the states and Canada with erudite escapades in Berkeley California. During her infamous adventures she absorbed those academic, artistic, and open minded nuances that classify a liberal arts education.

The reason I take the time to write this post is because I get to go see her over Christmas break and that means hot chocolate, spiked with whisky, (kidding), and more round table discussions. And perhaps some magical brownies. (Again, kidding!) Happy holidays everyone!

Thursday, December 15

Christians Support Occupy Wall Street

In complete opposition to the article directly above the Minnesota Christian Examiner’s article titled Christians should Occupy Wall Street is an article describing how America is heading towards communism because of the liberation of gays among other things. Yesterday, I intellectually abolished the article Communism in American by pointing out that Soviet Russia is anything but liberating of sexual expression and that it is if anything, it's oppressive.

Ironically, the article Christians should Occupy Wall Street pitches support of the Wall Street protest, which for many reasons, reminds people of communism and socialism. The article starts out with 1st John 3:17.

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
I don’t know, you might want to ask the Salvation Army about that one. They take donations, see gays and lesbians in need, and then use their donations to further marginalize the lgbt community. How can the love of God be with the Salvation Army when they have no pity?

Though, that’s not the point. The article goes on to say.

Jesus didn’t come to advocate for free market capitalism or lower taxes, [Are you suggesting that Jesus is a socialist! That’s pretty sweet, because I would have to agree!], both primary concerns of Tea Partiers. Rather, when He was on earth, Jesus spoke multiple times about the dangers of loving money and our responsibility to care for the poor.
So why do American evangelicals more often align themselves with the Tea Party than with the Occupy Movement?
Zach Psick makes a pertinent point. This article takes into consideration the useful Christian philosophy that should be in support of the Wall Street Movement. Because the Bible is very clear, with the teachings of Jesus, on the matters of money.

But, things falter from there. Essentially, capitalism is bad, socialism is bad, and only a Christian should come up with the right solution. I say go with socialism, but just call it a social democracy. It works in Denmark! Switzerland anyone?

Christians should be the first to acknowledge that there is a problem with any system in which a billion people are starving to death, [Noam Chomsky beat the Christians to it.] despite the fact that there are plenty of resources for everyone.
Taxing the rich is not the answer. To solve the problem, we must change the system. Capitalism is a bad system, but socialism would never work. [Denmark works!] So rather than choose between the two, we should begin working toward a new system.
From there, it get’s humorous.

Most of us aren’t economists and therefore are not in a position to dream up an entirely new economic system.
Basically, it’s flawed, but no one knows how to fix it. But, let’s hope a Christian is the one who fixes it, because we know that the Evangelical Tea Party is capable of dreaming up of a new economic system. Just have patience, someone else is bound to find a solution.

Eventually, a brilliant mind will emerge with answer. I hope that it’s a Christian.
Which leaves me with two last questions? If a gay atheist came up with a solid solution, let’s call it raising taxes and using those taxes more efficiently, would you be willing to use it to save "billions" of lives? Secondly, where does the Christian Examiner really stand on Socialism? The Occupy Wall Street movement, has a lot of socialist minded people who understand socialism the way Denmark and other countries alike understand socialism. Obviously we aren’t going to go backwards to a state like Soviet Russia or oppressive China. But, if we don’t go that way, no matter how you look at it, supporting the Occupy Wall Street protest, from my understanding, sort of makes you a socialist.

Wednesday, December 14

A Little Too Pessimistic

In my earlier post I portrayed a very pessimistic view of how the LGBT movement in America is going. As a reader points out -
Thanks for enlightening us about the attitude of Stalinist communism and other totalitarian systems towards homosexuality. Typically, dictatorial and intolerant regimes crack down on homosexuality and/or abuse gay persons, or they use a "gay scare" to deflect attention from their wrongdoings.
And I agree, certain conservative groups in rural America have a tendency to do the same.
My question: Is the U.S. as a country really marginalizing gay persons or the gay communities at this point? Of course, there's still lots of discrimination, but I was under the impression that the situation was improving over the last 20-30 years
Thanks! H.-E. R.  - Christian Examiner Exclaims . . .
You would be VERY correct, the situation has been improving a lot over the last 20-30 years. Though, if Minnesota votes to define marriage between only a man and a women, lgbt rights would be heading backwards. But, I have been so frustrated that the representatives were willing to even go this far to put this up for grabs!

Christian Examiner Exclaims - Gays Progress us To Communism

In the Christian Examiner I came across an article titled Communism in America – (Page 5 E-Edition) Interested in the title, I read it and felt it prudish and offensive. The article claims that America is becoming a communist nation. But it doesn’t contain any original thought. It simply cites a book written in 1958 titled “The Naked Communist” for its position. I, knowing very little about communism, am going to go ahead and assume that this book has a conservative author because I am taking into consideration the year the book was written. 1958. This was during or shortly thereafter one of the Red Scares.

I fucking love being right. (Not that you didn’t believe me Tommy, but was I right? Or was I right.)

Wikipedia – Communism in America
– “The Naked Communist is a book written in 1958 by conservative United States author and faith-based political theorist Cleon Skousen.[1]
The book posits and seeks to describe a geopolitical strategy by which the Marxist-Leninist Soviet Union was attempting to overcome and control all the governments of the world that were not members of the Communist bloc. At the time that the book was published, during the Cold War, fear of communism was common among people in non-communist nations.”
Dear Alisha Cora Soule – Start swimming in the sea of blue links and please redefine your position based on more solidified facts.

I will now stop being an elitist douche bag and continue to analyze why the article, Communism in America is futile extremist Christian literature with no basis in fact. Alisha Cora Soule starts out her article, “When we think of Communism, we think of the Soviet Union, East Germany and the Berlin Wall. We think of dictators, oppression, guns, barbed wire fences, restricted living, and quite frankly sadness.”

Personally, I think of Michele Bachmann and the rest of the campaign trailing comedian tour when I hear communism. Red, oppression, gun rights, restricted living, and yes sadness. Definitely sadness. Like teenagers committing bullycide.

But, Alisha doesn’t stop there. She lists off some of the 45 goals of communism. “Goal 20 and 21 are to present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as “normal, natural and healthy."

Gays are the cause of communism! Go figure. But, there’s something that doesn’t make sense here. In soviet Russia. . . communism oppress you! That much is right. But how does allowing gay and lesbian rights cause communism when in Russia, the lgbt community is considered "non-existent."

I found in the crack cocaine of gay and lesbian sociology books a book titled “Cracks in the Iron Closet” and had a bit of a nerdgasm. The subtitle reads – Travels In Gay and Lesbian Russia.

What I have learned in this book is that Soviet Russia is the complete opposite in regards to supporting gay and lesbian "promiscuity". David Tuller dives into “A Little Bit of History” in chapter 5 by discussing Simon Karlinsky, a professor at, you guessed it, the University of California at Berkeley.

“Karlinsky concurred that antigay repression worsened considerably under Stalin. But in his defiantly revisionist version of Russian gay history, he argued convincingly that the most spectacular flowering of gay arts and literature began not with the Bolshevik Revolution but with the political upheavals that took place a dozen years earlier, in 1905; following widespread protests in the summer of that year, Tsar Nicholas II had agreed to the formation of a consultative parliament and to a relaxation of censorship.”
“Moreover, Karlinsky stressed that the early bolsheviks, Lenin in particular, were champions not of sexual freedom but of a morality of sexual austerity. To credit them with the decriminalization of homosexuality, he declared, was to misrepresent what they actually did shortly after the Revolution: abolish the entire penal code of the Russian Empire, which included the tsarist-era sanctions against homosexuality as well as every other criminal statute, including those against rape and murder. [Sodom and Gomorrah anyone! Oh biblical historical references are a lol!] The reason for that move, he maintained, was not to uphold some theoretical notion of liberation but to allow the new government to move against its enemies without regard to legal niceties”
Not to mention that throughout the 50’s, probably prior as well, into the 90’s, homosexuals were jailed and used as “roosters” or fuck buddies for other "more aggressive" males. Light bulbs and Armageddon!

“Other prisoners reserve the right to use them for sex at any time; according to custom, those who take the “active” [Tops] sexual role boost their own standing, [In Soviet Russia pitcher catch you!] in the violent hierarchy and are not considered homosexuals. . . "
“They say it is better to die than to become a ‘rooster,’” write the authors. “They are forced to eat mice, take lightbulbs [Ouch! It’s electric?] up their asses – any means of degrading them. . . .”
With this, I am a bit confused as to how sexual liberation has any commonalities with communism. If anything is accurate in referring to Soviet Russia and communism, it is the fact that Russian leadership oppresses homosexuality. In prison homosexuals are beating toys for horny prisoners who need to get off. Communism, in the way it is discussed in the Christian Examiner article, is linked to homosexuality as deviance that will lead to an oppressive dictatorship. But the last time I read about Nazi Germany, they were plastering pink triangles on gays and incarcerating them shortly before killing them in prison camps. (This was along side Jews, gypsies, the mentally ill, the old. . .)

In the least, sure, America is already suppressing homosexuality and slowly moving up the genocide ladder by politically marginalizing the lgbt community as well as other minorities. And as the multiplicity of minority jokes continue to overwhelm the halls of a failing public school system, sure, we could end up with Soviet Russia, East Germany, and the Berlin Wall. And it isn’t going to be related to the liberation of anyone, but the continual use of false information, political ostrocities , (Jacob coined a word) and a twisted hate set in ancient, and innacurate, biblical beliefs.

Minnesota for Marriage Survey

In the Christian Examiner staff report they publish the results of a Minnesota for Marriage survey.

“Minnesota for Marriage, a group that supports the marriage amendment, released the results of a survey in November that showed 51 percent of voters support the marriage amendment while 40 percent do not support it. In addition, 56 percent of Minnesotans believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman.” - (Minnesota for Marriage says survey. . . )

Though these statistics offer some insight to how Minnesotans possibly will vote, it’s important to keep in mind the importance of survey tactics. There is actually a fascinating process in conducting surveys that those working in the social sciences employ. Though, I won’t dive into methodology. That would be a sea of boredom. I think the following article on http://thecolu.mn/6987/minnesota-for-marriage-pushes-polls-via-web-ads highlights the failure of Minnesota for Marriage, as an organization to properly conduct a survey that provides accurate results. Though, they did produce some fascinating propaganda that skews readers perception of where Minnesota stands on marriage.

Questions like: should marriage be between one man and one woman?-- and, do children need a mom and a dad? – are poorly worded. And here is why.

On the surface I would even answer yes to both these questions. Because yes, where marriage should be between one man and one woman, it should also include same sex couples. Secondly, yes, children need a mom and a dad. Children can also do fantastic with two moms and two dads. So the results are distorted because of the improper wording of the questions. The results are flawed and cannot be taken seriously.

Examining the Christian Examiner

Every month I pick up the new edition of the Minnesota Christian Examiner. I do this because I know as a critical thinker it is best to consume literature that you could possibly disagree with. Naturally, I end up with a raised blood pressure and start running around campus. I irately point out the blatant flaws and failures of everything that I am reading. From my perspective, I rarely find anything that I can even fathom agreeing with even upon attempt. This edition was particularly effective at meeting my vigorous goals. But, let's take this one at a time.

Minnesota for Marriage Survey

America Moving Towards Communism

Christians Support Occupy Wall Street

Where are the Christian Allies? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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